Self Acceptance is the Key to Happiness

Most of us have lived lives of ‘quiet desperation’ as Thoreau said, replaying our programmed subconscious tapes of criticism, not good enough, failure; I never do anything right; nobody loves me and what’s wrong with me! With constant chatter going on it is not surprising to discover that life brings us experiences that reinforce our predominant thought patterns.

We can counteract those negative thoughts with positive phrases such as: I am wonderful; everything I do is successful; my figure is sexy and beautiful; my mind is filled with wisdom and so on; however, the resistance (called second force) that comes up when we entertain these ideas forces us unconsciously to choose between what we have ‘always’ believed and the ‘new’ thought. The strength of the old beliefs usually will overpower the new and our level of self-esteem remains the same. The only difference being that now we walk around with a smile because we are a positive thinker.

Instead of this mental manipulation, how do you suppose it would feel if we were to just be O.K. with ourselves, where we are in life, how we look, what our Dun and Bradstreet rating is, whether we are in a relationship or not….to appreciate ourselves just the way we are with no ego needs to be met, no changes necessary, no need to be better than we are right here, right now!!

It is the natural course of the universe to propel us forward, into ever changing, always unfolding modes of growth that serves the highest potential within the divine plan of this life experience. We each travel a unique individualized path of spiritual growth and awareness. BY accepting ourselves just the way we are, we become open to a higher force, a divine power that will guide and direct us to the greatest growth possibilities. Following this path is more demanding, more rewarding and far more stimulating than the way of the world.

The common person manipulates the world based on the expectations of society. The extraordinary person flows with the tides of the universe, sliding around curves, bending with the wind, experiencing leaps of consciousness by simply being still; listening and moving forward into the motion of life, not as something to accomplish but rather as an experience to be cherished and lived. Accepting ourselves just the way we are with all of our faults, all of our ‘stuff’ moves us away from the destructive critical self talk that has dominated our consciousness and opens the possibility of expanded awareness beyond anything we have ever known.

Oh, by the way, this accepting ourselves just the way we are idea is a lifelong process. There are no techniques, no short cuts and no affirmations that will take us there. This is truly a journey of the soul. Just stay focused on the beauty around you, the many blessings that fill your life, appreciate and be grateful for the many aspects of your life that are working. You will be amazed how the solutions to your problems with come forth.  Can you do that?  A better question is are you willing to do that? Try it for 30 days and see what happens in your life.

Let me know how it works for you

www.caroleoconnell.com

The Divine Relationship

“There is only one relationship out of which all others are born, that is the divine relationship we have with “self.”

The Human desire is for relationship! From the time we enter the planet, we need other to nurture and love us. The medical experts tell us that a child deprived of a loving touch will die of emotional starvation. The need to be connected with others is a basic human need which comes from having moved as souls from a state of total conscious awareness to a relatively unconscious mental condition. You might say that we lost ourselves when we are born and that sense of separation keeps us searching for that right relationship that will make us feel complete. Of course, this cannot happen, for we are already complete, with a full capacity for aliveness. Unfortunately, we don’t come with a set of instructions, so we spend a lifetime trying to fill the void we feel within by changing partners or blaming the one we’re with for our emptiness.

There is only one relationship out of which all others area born, that is the divine relationship we have with “self”. By self I am referring to that spark of life energy that was created out of God consciousness and is evolving as you and I. The “self” is complete, divine, perfect and pure love but how many of us see ourselves that way? We humans tend to focus on our imperfections which leads to criticism and judgment that results in the deepest of self hatred.

Why then do we think that the right person in our life is going to make us feel better? I suppose it is as simple and as complex as believing if someone else loves us, then we must be loveable and our self hatred gets pushed aside until we experience criticism or judgment from our loved one and the self hatred rears its ugly head even stronger and once again we come to the conclusion that we must be a terrible person for this loved one to have changed their mind about us. Of course, what our loved one is doing is simply projecting their own fears and insecurities and whatever other issues they are dealing with at the moment towards the person closest to them. That is the dance that many couples participate in throughout the relationship until one of them can’t take it anymore and leaves. Both will experience a deepened self hatred but the one that was rejected often will go through a period of depression with obsessive thoughts of the dearly departed. That pattern is often repeated through successive relationships until we discover that the intimacy with another that we crave is actually the deep desire to fill the void that we feel within our own soul, that sense of separation that we have with our God-self.

The divine relationship is nurtured through self-acceptance and self love of who we are right here and now, recognizing that our human nature is sometimes petty, mean, jealous and downright nasty. Accepting that shadow side of our personality allows us to accept the loving, forgiving side which is the normal polarity of our humanness. I believe that we are here on this planet to learn to love everyone, a universal love that will bring us into a love relationship with every soul we meet. That inter-connectedness that we are striving for begins in our own heart and mind by first accepting who we are, just the way we are and loving ourselves no matter how many mistakes we make and then extending that unconditional love and acceptance to our brothers and sisters of the world.

This divine relationship with self brings about inner peace, family harmony, communities working together, nation’s united and global oneness. The first step is yours and mine and until we take it, nothing on earth will change either individually or collectively. Perhaps the slogan from the 60’s can be resurrected, “Make Love, Not War.” Begin today to think better of yourself, to treat your mate and family with the love and respect that you desire and see if that doesn’t make a difference in every aspect of your life. Imagine a world filled with souls committed to loving one another, an idea whose time has come.

How have you made a difference in your world by loving and accepting yourself? Share your thoughts with us. We need to learn from each other.

www.caroleoconnell.com

Believe in Yourself

"Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties."

Eric Fromm

In the circus, the trapeze artists are the most revered for they have the most frightening acts. Flying through the air with nothing but space beneath you and the next trapeze bar not yet in your reach can be exhilarating or fearful. It depends on the amount of practicing you have done. A good trapeze artist has spent many years in the practice of this art and feels nothing but total freedom when between the bars. That is a wonderful metaphor for your spiritual journey.

The art of creating a joyous life requires your commitment to:

* Ask for what you want, define your desire.

* Choose thoughts that are in alignment with your desire

* Follow inspired guidance and allow the universe to handle the details.

Master these practices and you will be exhilarated when you find yourself flying through changes in your life. When the unexpected happens, you will trust that everything is working together for your good. Life is at its most creative when you are in the void not knowing what the outcome will be, but believing it will be good. It is the PROCESS of creating that is most enlivening, not the result, for when it is complete; we will simply have another desire to fulfill. You will never be without desires, wanting to reach beyond where you have already been. That is the exciting nature of life itself. So live in the space between the trapeze bars and enjoy the journey.

What is your heart’s desire?? Let’s talk about how you can create your desire.

www.caroleoconnell.com

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

"There are no justified resentments. Give up your personal history."
Wayne Dyer

Judgment, anger, resentment, guilt, shame and fear are emotions that come out of your response to life. When you no longer judge others then there is nothing to forgive. Realize that everyone is doing the best job they know how to do with the awareness that they have at any given time. The terrible things that are done to others come from hearts that are crying out for love. A heart that is open, loving and kind has no desire to hurt another. A loving heart would not even have those thoughts, for hateful thoughts would not be in alignment with its dominant vibration of love, peace and joy.

How would your life transform if there were no judgments’ in your heart? What would you have to release in order to accept everyone in your life? Unconditional acceptance means that I accept you just the way you are. I have no need to change you so that I feel better in your presence.

Try this exercise:

If there is someone you are holding judgment around, for one week focus on their positive attributes-the many things that make them a good person. Do not say that there is nothing good about this person for they are in your life for a reason. Nothing happens by accident in the universal scheme of life. Everything has a purpose, which is why we attract people and circumstances to us. The person you have negative feelings about just might be there to show you how to love unconditionally.

When you make another person wrong, you are bringing yourself into vibrational alignment with that which you have judged as wrong. That energy will attract to you more people and experiences that are in alignment with that vibration. That is why releasing a negative relationship through forgiveness, opens you up for a better feeling relationship.

We often attract the same type of person to us over and over again because that is what we are vibrating. The same goes for a job or a boss that you do not like. You leave one job only to find the next job or the next boss has the same irritating traits.

The way to a joyous life with happy people and exciting creative circumstances is to lift your vibration by focusing on what is good in your world, what is good about the people around you and to disconnect from any negative thinking. Try for a week and watch how your life begins to transform and new opportunities come forth.

Let go of the past, forgive everyone whom you have held negative feelings for, focus on how good life is, appreciate every moment of every day and soon you will find yourself surrounded by joyous people living joyous lives. See yourself body, mind and spirit as whole and perfect just the way you came forth into this physical dimension to experience life.

Write to me and let me know how you are doing with this exercise.

www.caroleoconnell.com

Be Willing To Receive

“To receive we must be alert, awake and prepared to receive.”

                        Matthew Fox

Some of us are wonderful givers and yet remain in lack. The reason is the inability to receive. Perhaps the prevailing theme in our homes as children was that money was dirty, that is was ungodly to want money, or that we simply were not worthy or did not deserve abundance. We see struggle and financial need all around us, why should we deserve more?

Financial abundance is not predicated on deserving or worthiness. It is in direct relationship to your consciousness, your vibration, your belief about money and you willingness to receive. Your birthright is the abundance of all good, health, wealth and perfect self-expression. You are an extension of infinite mind, the creative intelligence from which you have come forth. All good is yours for the taking when you allow it into your consciousness. IF you are not living an abundant life, then you are resisting your good. Abundance is all around you, available to you when you are open to receive it. You can push it away with your thoughts and feelings of lack or you can receive it with your gratitude and willingness to allow it into your life.

Exercise: WOULDN’T IT BE NICE IF:

You add your heart’s desire to this statement. For instance, wouldn’t it be nice if I was financially free, if all of my relationships were in harmony, if a new work came to me that I loved etc. Ask for your dream! You are the architect of your thoughts and it is your thoughts that create your emotions and feelings from which your good comes. What does it feel like to be financially free???? Get into that feeling every day and watch how your life will open up.

Be Grateful for what you have for you are blessed with many wonderful things in your life. Stay focused on what is good in your life and be willing to receive more good.

This may sound too simplistic but as you work this exercise you will find that to stay consistently in a high consciousness takes constant awareness. It is easy to fall back into the old way of thinking and feeling and stay in that same familiar rut. It takes a commitment to step outside of your comfort zone and see life from a higher perspective but it is well worth the effort as your life begins to unfold in miraculous ways.

Let me know how this works for you. Write me a comment.

www.caroleoconnell.com

Dream Big Dreams

“I am willing to expand beyond the limits I have placed on myself and those I have allowed others to place upon me.”

                        Iyanla Vanzant

We have been taught to set goals, create a plan, follow the plan each step of the way and in that consciousness we can make things happen. That can work if you do not let fear or discouragement stop you from continuing to work the plan. Perhaps that is the way you have accomplished all of your desires but it can be hard work. When we connect with a higher energy, we are utilizing more than just our mental abilities. We have the power to access the creative energy of the universe, which offers a broader range of options. We can tap into the consciousness that creates worlds and by allowing that vibration to guide us can open new opportunities that we never knew existed. Any idea, project or desire can be so much better and easier to manage when we allow the universe to handle the details. Stay aware of any new opportunities that come your way. If they feel right, follow through with them. Do not resist an idea that seems too unreal, too good. Anything is possible to one who appreciates his present good, listens to guidance from within, resists nothing and allows their good to unfold in right and perfect ways.

Try this Exercise:

1.      Make a list of several things that you want; harmony in your relationships, more financial prosperity; a new home etc.

2.      Set a written intention around each of them as if it had already happened. For example, “I am in harmony with my mate,” “Prosperity comes to me easily and effortlessly,” and “I love my beautiful new home.”

3.      How would you feel if these were true? Stay in that feeling for a few minutes. Keep the statements where you can see them and “feel” them frequently.

4.      The final step is the most difficult for most people for we are accustomed to seeing the negatives in life rather than the positives however, this is the step that brings about the manifestation. Each day, each moment of each day, stay focused on what is working in your life. When you find yourself in judgment, angry, confused, frustrated, fearful or overwhelmed, no matter how long you have held that vibration, take a moment to quiet your mind, decide that is not where you want to live and refocus.

5.      Find something to be positive about, someone to appreciate. Think about all of the things that are happening in your life right now that are wonderful. You car is running well, your hair looks great, you love the outfit you are wearing. It does not have to be a heavy thing to shift your vibration to a higher frequency. Compliment someone, go out and have a nice dinner, take in a funny movie. Do whatever you have to do to up level your thoughts and emotions. As you raise your vibration, you bring yourself into alignment with your intentions.

Let me know how this works for you.

www.caroleoconnell.com

The Joy Is In The Journey

“Man is a magnet, and every line and dot and detail of his experiences come  by his own attraction.”

                                    Elizabeth Towne, 1906

So often when we first learn about our creative abilities, we want everything to change at once but it is the wise person who realizes that the result is not as much fun as the journey. Each time we fulfill a desire, there is a new desire born within us. Our life here on earth is a time of creating and we will always have new ideas come forth that call our energy to create more. Therefore, it does not matter how long it takes to accomplish each desire. If we try to hurry things along, we miss the joy of the journey.

This knowledge was first presented to me over 40 years ago when I was struggling as a single mother of three, divorced and angry, unhappy with my job with never enough money to pay my bills. In my thirty-three years of living, I had never heard that there were unlimited  possibilities for me, that I was the co-creator of my life experience and that I was connected to the very spirit of life from which everything has come. When I realized that my entire belief system was faulty and causing me to continue to create hardship and unhappiness, I was angry at first to think that I had lived thirty-three years without knowing the truth about life. Then I became so excited about the potential for the future that I forgot my anger and began to use these principles to transform my entire existence.

As I look back on those years, I am aware that my greatest joy was in the journey from darkness into light, from fear into faith, from anger into joy and from judgment into love. I learned that loving and accepting myself was the first step to living and accepting others, that gratitude and appreciation were the highest forms of prayer and that the vibrations of my constant and repeating thoughts were the force that continued to attract experiences to me. I really got it when I found that by changing my “stinking thinking”   I changed my life! The journey of discovery has continued to this day and I celebrate daily that this journey will not end but will only bring with it more possibilities to express and create. Life is an unfolding, unlimited journey of joy!!!

Exercise:

Write a new story about your life and how you want to feel about yourself, your family, your work, your body, your money etc. Make it exciting, uplifting, and creative. Don’t talk about what is but rather create what you would have it be. Read it daily and find the feeling place for each desire.

Affirmation: I am open to new possibilities of joy, peace and love in every aspect of my life.

Let me know how this works for you.

www.caroleoconnell.com