Self Acceptance is the Key to Happiness

Most of us have lived lives of ‘quiet desperation’ as Thoreau said, replaying our programmed subconscious tapes of criticism, not good enough, failure; I never do anything right; nobody loves me and what’s wrong with me! With constant chatter going on it is not surprising to discover that life brings us experiences that reinforce our predominant thought patterns.

We can counteract those negative thoughts with positive phrases such as: I am wonderful; everything I do is successful; my figure is sexy and beautiful; my mind is filled with wisdom and so on; however, the resistance (called second force) that comes up when we entertain these ideas forces us unconsciously to choose between what we have ‘always’ believed and the ‘new’ thought. The strength of the old beliefs usually will overpower the new and our level of self-esteem remains the same. The only difference being that now we walk around with a smile because we are a positive thinker.

Instead of this mental manipulation, how do you suppose it would feel if we were to just be O.K. with ourselves, where we are in life, how we look, what our Dun and Bradstreet rating is, whether we are in a relationship or not….to appreciate ourselves just the way we are with no ego needs to be met, no changes necessary, no need to be better than we are right here, right now!!

It is the natural course of the universe to propel us forward, into ever changing, always unfolding modes of growth that serves the highest potential within the divine plan of this life experience. We each travel a unique individualized path of spiritual growth and awareness. BY accepting ourselves just the way we are, we become open to a higher force, a divine power that will guide and direct us to the greatest growth possibilities. Following this path is more demanding, more rewarding and far more stimulating than the way of the world.

The common person manipulates the world based on the expectations of society. The extraordinary person flows with the tides of the universe, sliding around curves, bending with the wind, experiencing leaps of consciousness by simply being still; listening and moving forward into the motion of life, not as something to accomplish but rather as an experience to be cherished and lived. Accepting ourselves just the way we are with all of our faults, all of our ‘stuff’ moves us away from the destructive critical self talk that has dominated our consciousness and opens the possibility of expanded awareness beyond anything we have ever known.

Oh, by the way, this accepting ourselves just the way we are idea is a lifelong process. There are no techniques, no short cuts and no affirmations that will take us there. This is truly a journey of the soul. Just stay focused on the beauty around you, the many blessings that fill your life, appreciate and be grateful for the many aspects of your life that are working. You will be amazed how the solutions to your problems with come forth.  Can you do that?  A better question is are you willing to do that? Try it for 30 days and see what happens in your life.

Let me know how it works for you

www.caroleoconnell.com

The Divine Relationship

“There is only one relationship out of which all others are born, that is the divine relationship we have with “self.”

The Human desire is for relationship! From the time we enter the planet, we need other to nurture and love us. The medical experts tell us that a child deprived of a loving touch will die of emotional starvation. The need to be connected with others is a basic human need which comes from having moved as souls from a state of total conscious awareness to a relatively unconscious mental condition. You might say that we lost ourselves when we are born and that sense of separation keeps us searching for that right relationship that will make us feel complete. Of course, this cannot happen, for we are already complete, with a full capacity for aliveness. Unfortunately, we don’t come with a set of instructions, so we spend a lifetime trying to fill the void we feel within by changing partners or blaming the one we’re with for our emptiness.

There is only one relationship out of which all others area born, that is the divine relationship we have with “self”. By self I am referring to that spark of life energy that was created out of God consciousness and is evolving as you and I. The “self” is complete, divine, perfect and pure love but how many of us see ourselves that way? We humans tend to focus on our imperfections which leads to criticism and judgment that results in the deepest of self hatred.

Why then do we think that the right person in our life is going to make us feel better? I suppose it is as simple and as complex as believing if someone else loves us, then we must be loveable and our self hatred gets pushed aside until we experience criticism or judgment from our loved one and the self hatred rears its ugly head even stronger and once again we come to the conclusion that we must be a terrible person for this loved one to have changed their mind about us. Of course, what our loved one is doing is simply projecting their own fears and insecurities and whatever other issues they are dealing with at the moment towards the person closest to them. That is the dance that many couples participate in throughout the relationship until one of them can’t take it anymore and leaves. Both will experience a deepened self hatred but the one that was rejected often will go through a period of depression with obsessive thoughts of the dearly departed. That pattern is often repeated through successive relationships until we discover that the intimacy with another that we crave is actually the deep desire to fill the void that we feel within our own soul, that sense of separation that we have with our God-self.

The divine relationship is nurtured through self-acceptance and self love of who we are right here and now, recognizing that our human nature is sometimes petty, mean, jealous and downright nasty. Accepting that shadow side of our personality allows us to accept the loving, forgiving side which is the normal polarity of our humanness. I believe that we are here on this planet to learn to love everyone, a universal love that will bring us into a love relationship with every soul we meet. That inter-connectedness that we are striving for begins in our own heart and mind by first accepting who we are, just the way we are and loving ourselves no matter how many mistakes we make and then extending that unconditional love and acceptance to our brothers and sisters of the world.

This divine relationship with self brings about inner peace, family harmony, communities working together, nation’s united and global oneness. The first step is yours and mine and until we take it, nothing on earth will change either individually or collectively. Perhaps the slogan from the 60’s can be resurrected, “Make Love, Not War.” Begin today to think better of yourself, to treat your mate and family with the love and respect that you desire and see if that doesn’t make a difference in every aspect of your life. Imagine a world filled with souls committed to loving one another, an idea whose time has come.

How have you made a difference in your world by loving and accepting yourself? Share your thoughts with us. We need to learn from each other.

www.caroleoconnell.com

Believe in Yourself

"Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties."

Eric Fromm

In the circus, the trapeze artists are the most revered for they have the most frightening acts. Flying through the air with nothing but space beneath you and the next trapeze bar not yet in your reach can be exhilarating or fearful. It depends on the amount of practicing you have done. A good trapeze artist has spent many years in the practice of this art and feels nothing but total freedom when between the bars. That is a wonderful metaphor for your spiritual journey.

The art of creating a joyous life requires your commitment to:

* Ask for what you want, define your desire.

* Choose thoughts that are in alignment with your desire

* Follow inspired guidance and allow the universe to handle the details.

Master these practices and you will be exhilarated when you find yourself flying through changes in your life. When the unexpected happens, you will trust that everything is working together for your good. Life is at its most creative when you are in the void not knowing what the outcome will be, but believing it will be good. It is the PROCESS of creating that is most enlivening, not the result, for when it is complete; we will simply have another desire to fulfill. You will never be without desires, wanting to reach beyond where you have already been. That is the exciting nature of life itself. So live in the space between the trapeze bars and enjoy the journey.

What is your heart’s desire?? Let’s talk about how you can create your desire.

www.caroleoconnell.com